I've decided I need to get all my thoughts out. I'm tired of lying awake at night. That's usually when I begin to feel the most useless. It's also when I seem to have most of my best ideas.
Well, I'm a recent college graduate. I should mention that I just received my Master's. Woo-Hoo! Yay me! But I can't get a job. I went into a career that doesn't need employees. Like most of my fellow graduates I'm still living at home, wasting time doing little things here or there but mostly feeling like a giant waste of space. It's hell living in this time. I'm not saying that I'm alone in this or that I'm having a harder time than other people. I do feel entitled to complain about it though. As I mentioned to one of my friends today, the longer it takes for me to find a job, the more of my education goes to waste. How can I expect my brain to stay sharp when I am not using the skills that I have been taught? It's infuriating. And to add to the frustration, Sallie Mae is demanding I begin paying back my student loans. Where do they think I'm going to be able to come up with this money? UGH!!!!!
And to top it all off I still can't shake him. Even though I'm sure he's moving on, I find myself missing him often. I know I have to stop pretending that he's coming back but for reasons I can't explain right now I keep getting my hopes up only to have them repeatedly knocked down. So I lay here trying to fall asleep only to find myself with a knot in my stomach and ridiculous thoughts filling my head.
Something good better happen soon.
Getting an education is NEVER a waste! I've seen this economy go up and down over the years, it will turn around! Keep subbing, every day keeps you closer to your goal. Do some research, maybe there's a bigger need in another area of the country. Keep your mind sharp with word & math games, write up daily lesson plans, find imaginative and unique ways of teaching different lessons. This way you'll stand out at your next interview! Have faith, sweetie, I know I do in you! LU
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